The real story

I'll admit this... I didn't leave the abusive ex because of the violence. I would urge him into it, bait him when he was in a bad mood, encourage him to vent his rage on me. Even then, he was never rough enough, even in the midst of a red-haze-rage he still apologized for being the kind of person that would enjoy taking it out on me sexually... If it'd just been the violence, I'd have stayed, found ways to tempt him into exploring the darkness beneath the surface..

But he was too passive aggressive. He ignored me when I made him angry, took it out on me when he was upset at other people. He picked fights so that he could justify disappearing for 2 or 3 days to see friends that I didn't like and would've told him to go hang out with anyway. They played him like pro's, blaming me for all his troubles, so that he'd come home and do the same. They helped me in a way, as it was easier to enrage him in those moods.

Even the night he tried to set the bed on fire with me in it, though it was a major incident that led to me making the decision that it was time to go... wasn't the reason.

The truth? We went to hang out with some friends of his, a couple that he played with sometimes. They brought out the flogger and took turns on me, then on him... This was all fine and well and had me worked up more than a little, but then he killed it. He signed the death warrant to our relationship. He started trying to get me to use the flogger on him, got his friends to help him try to guilt me into it... saying that I was worthless as a sub because I wasn't willing to take control in order to satisfy him.

It was the one subject that, once broached, he didn't stick to his passive aggressive ways on... though I wish he had. He brought it up at every opportunity over the following couple of weeks, a childish combination of anger and hurt as he tried to bully me into playing Domme for him. When I refused, he would stomp out and disappear to that couple's house for days on end. He would come home again and immediately launch into it, whining, pathetic...

The only reason I was sad to leave him was that I loved his dogs, and his mom was awesome.