This man.. his music videos make me horny.
A friend pointed me at the official video for Hero today, and I've spent the last couple of hours watching others... I've always loved Enrique's voice, never knew he was hot, or that his videos were so... interesting.
17 October, 2008
11 October, 2008
Frustration and Disappointment...
Imagine that you've spent your life up until today craving a certain kind of treat. Something that others have had before and described as sweet and delicious, melting in your mouth, the absolute ultimate in treat satisfaction... Now imagine that you've finally found someone who has this treat, who is willing to share it with you... They give you a taste, just a tiny sample of this thing that lives up to your every orgasmic fantasy. Its a taste that crawls into you, burns through your blood, consumes you. They tease you with the idea of more, another taste some other day perhaps... and then you never see or hear from them again. Now you still have those cravings, intensified for having actually experienced the treat, all you can think of is tasting it again... You may become reckless in your ravenous, insatiable desire to continue the experience begun with that single taste...
*headtilt* think that one got away from me, we'll back to the literal.
I've been wandering a couple of BDSM sites (FetLife and CollarMe) and both have been a fantastic resource and way to meet people who are already involved with that sort of thing. So much so that I actually met a guy who interested and intrigued me enough that for the first time ever, I agreed to meet in real life.
I'll start by saying it was worth it, even in light of the fact that I never heard from him again. It was, as I say, just a taste of that lifestyle... His hand in my hair pulling my head back, pulling me to him for that first kiss... So smug about my stupid shyness, we both knew I wanted it but I just couldn't break through that awkward/shy moment on my own... Him focusing on my face, reading my expression, my response as his hand closed over my throat, his smile as I gasped and pressed into his palm... Light slaps to my face whenever I forgot to say Yes Sir, and I never thought I'd enjoy being called a dirty little slut but he made it sound like the most delicious and desirable thing a girl could ever be... Best of all, the way he responded with increased intensity when I opened my eyes to watch him watching me...
It wasn't much, just a taste. The rest was so mellow, so comfortable... I got to overhear a phone conversation with his slave, the way it sounded so much like the same sort of conversation any other couple would have... Our talk was a mixture of "getting to know you a bit better" and discussing various things about kinky type things, smothly shifting from one topic to the other and back again.
Simple, easy, fun... No drama, no tension... and before he said goodbye he said that he was interested in seeing... But the disappointment comes now. Didn't hear from him for a few days, msg'd to say hi and got no response... Msg'd again a day or two later asking if I should just go away... He said no, but that he was busy with work. No big deal, right? I left him alone figuring that eventually he'd say hi again... Maybe he still will, but I don't believe so.
In a fit of typical ME stupidity, I managed to delete about half of my friendlist on yahoo. When I went to try adding him back, it was denied.
I'm of two minds, or more actually. If he was just being nice in saying he'd like to talk more/etc, I wish he hadn't. I have no problem with being used if its made clear thats as far as the interest goes, you know? The hope is that he really is busy, and still, and there's some reason he denied my friend request and never responded to the msg I sent him about having deleted my flist... The realistic, albeit cynical view is that he was never interested, got what he wanted, and I'm not worth considering for more or ever playing with again. I'd have liked to maintain a friendship, even on purely platonic terms, but some people just aren't interested in that.
Here's where I tamp down the bit of a pouty, insecure girl who keeps mentally going over and over that day trying to figure out what I did wrong... especially the bit that wants to email him and ask him to tell me what mistakes I made so that I can know better for my next attempt but... The intelligent, self-respecting thing to do is leave it alone. If he's busy, maybe he'll say hi eventually. Otherwise, annoying him isn't going to change a lack of interest, its just going to be drama... and nobody wants that.
A friend tried to tell me that I should ignore my pride, that maybe he's testing me to see if I will beg for his attention, that D/s relationships are different from normal ones, that he may want me to show some big sign of yes I'm interested and want to serve you but... He didn't strike me as the headgame type.
Any rate. The Disappointment is that my first taste of things seems to have fallen flat, and the craving is all the more intense for that little bit of having gotten to play. I continue my search, not letting my failure turn me away just yet. After all, just because I like someone doesn't mean they have to like me... and that taste has given me more of an idea of what I want to do now.
In all? Worth it, the frustration is expected, mostly sexual in nature to be completely honest. I'm tempted to accept other invitations to play but am restraining myself as none have come from anyone that I find appealing in the same way as I did the first one.
Such is life, yes? The interesting ones are either uninterested or too far away, at least that I'm used to
:)
*headtilt* think that one got away from me, we'll back to the literal.
I've been wandering a couple of BDSM sites (FetLife and CollarMe) and both have been a fantastic resource and way to meet people who are already involved with that sort of thing. So much so that I actually met a guy who interested and intrigued me enough that for the first time ever, I agreed to meet in real life.
I'll start by saying it was worth it, even in light of the fact that I never heard from him again. It was, as I say, just a taste of that lifestyle... His hand in my hair pulling my head back, pulling me to him for that first kiss... So smug about my stupid shyness, we both knew I wanted it but I just couldn't break through that awkward/shy moment on my own... Him focusing on my face, reading my expression, my response as his hand closed over my throat, his smile as I gasped and pressed into his palm... Light slaps to my face whenever I forgot to say Yes Sir, and I never thought I'd enjoy being called a dirty little slut but he made it sound like the most delicious and desirable thing a girl could ever be... Best of all, the way he responded with increased intensity when I opened my eyes to watch him watching me...
It wasn't much, just a taste. The rest was so mellow, so comfortable... I got to overhear a phone conversation with his slave, the way it sounded so much like the same sort of conversation any other couple would have... Our talk was a mixture of "getting to know you a bit better" and discussing various things about kinky type things, smothly shifting from one topic to the other and back again.
Simple, easy, fun... No drama, no tension... and before he said goodbye he said that he was interested in seeing... But the disappointment comes now. Didn't hear from him for a few days, msg'd to say hi and got no response... Msg'd again a day or two later asking if I should just go away... He said no, but that he was busy with work. No big deal, right? I left him alone figuring that eventually he'd say hi again... Maybe he still will, but I don't believe so.
In a fit of typical ME stupidity, I managed to delete about half of my friendlist on yahoo. When I went to try adding him back, it was denied.
I'm of two minds, or more actually. If he was just being nice in saying he'd like to talk more/etc, I wish he hadn't. I have no problem with being used if its made clear thats as far as the interest goes, you know? The hope is that he really is busy, and still, and there's some reason he denied my friend request and never responded to the msg I sent him about having deleted my flist... The realistic, albeit cynical view is that he was never interested, got what he wanted, and I'm not worth considering for more or ever playing with again. I'd have liked to maintain a friendship, even on purely platonic terms, but some people just aren't interested in that.
Here's where I tamp down the bit of a pouty, insecure girl who keeps mentally going over and over that day trying to figure out what I did wrong... especially the bit that wants to email him and ask him to tell me what mistakes I made so that I can know better for my next attempt but... The intelligent, self-respecting thing to do is leave it alone. If he's busy, maybe he'll say hi eventually. Otherwise, annoying him isn't going to change a lack of interest, its just going to be drama... and nobody wants that.
A friend tried to tell me that I should ignore my pride, that maybe he's testing me to see if I will beg for his attention, that D/s relationships are different from normal ones, that he may want me to show some big sign of yes I'm interested and want to serve you but... He didn't strike me as the headgame type.
Any rate. The Disappointment is that my first taste of things seems to have fallen flat, and the craving is all the more intense for that little bit of having gotten to play. I continue my search, not letting my failure turn me away just yet. After all, just because I like someone doesn't mean they have to like me... and that taste has given me more of an idea of what I want to do now.
In all? Worth it, the frustration is expected, mostly sexual in nature to be completely honest. I'm tempted to accept other invitations to play but am restraining myself as none have come from anyone that I find appealing in the same way as I did the first one.
Such is life, yes? The interesting ones are either uninterested or too far away, at least that I'm used to
:)
02 October, 2008
Dolcett Girls
They were mentioned to me last night, and I find one thing about it incredibly amusing.
Years ago, when yahoo had its user created rooms still, there was one called "Kill Her Slowly" where people would play out scenarios of murder and extreme violence.
You'd think that someone there would've mentioned the Dolcett Girls, people who consider that sort of thing a fetish. Don't you think that would've come up there, of all places?
The most that ever came of it was someone once showing me one of the Dolcett pictures (which I can't seem to find to link at the moment.)
Years ago, when yahoo had its user created rooms still, there was one called "Kill Her Slowly" where people would play out scenarios of murder and extreme violence.
You'd think that someone there would've mentioned the Dolcett Girls, people who consider that sort of thing a fetish. Don't you think that would've come up there, of all places?
The most that ever came of it was someone once showing me one of the Dolcett pictures (which I can't seem to find to link at the moment.)
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