Still more D/S musings

Some questions that I was asked about the topic, and my responses.
I have a great deal more to say soon, once I've organized my thoughts.
Anyway, onward:

1: are you looking for a purely sexual sub role, or does your submissiveness involve more than just your sexual role.

Partially its sex. Primarily, though, I've found that I most enjoy the mental/psychological aspect when it is done right... I do have one friend that I mostly get to talk to online who knows me well enough to play that up, he keeps me hungry for him, always eager to please him when we do have a chance to spend time together, he always teases me with the idea that maybe the next time I'll get more out of it... Even when there are months between our visits, he can still make me wet just by telling me he wishes I was on my knees before him, or he's in a mood where if I were there with him he'd have his hand wrapped in my hair... When we're together all he has to do is look at me and smirk just a little and I'm instantly horny and impatient for an opportunity to sneak away to some dark corner together... We've never had sex, he's never given me an orgasm... though I've come close to it while giving him blowjobs. He teases me with the thought that eventually he'll get around to taking it further, and we both know that probably won't ever happen but even that doesn't spoil the game... Its all about the mindfuck.

2: what is your level of experience in the sub role if any

Very minor... Some via the internet, some mindgames played with friends that know me well enough to know how to stay under my skin. I tease myself by playing subbie to people who don't know I'm doing it. A friend who liked to tease and joke about my being his concubine, sending me to fetch him drinks, letting me kneel at his feet... he has no interest in D/s but was willing to play those little games with me because he knew they made me happy. Things like that. Low level games played with people I trust who, while not Dominant or into the lifestyle, were willing to play with it if only to see how far I would be willing to go for them.

I have been whipped, shocked, cut, set on fire.. I've gotten to play rough, been bitten and bruised. I've been handcuffed, been led around on a collar and leash though neither were in sexual ways.

I've never had a Dom, never been officially trained... I've played at it, but not had anyone who really knew what they were doing to guide me through it. I've networked with subs to learn what it was like for them, what drew them, how/why it made them happy... I've talked to Dom's about the same topics. I've wandered a lot of websites and taken a lot of advice on reading material.

I've never had a Dom because, frankly, the ones I've talked to who were interested wanted to move too quickly. They were not interested in taking the time to get to know me as a person, to let me do the same with them. They were not willing to take the time to earn my trust, learn my limits and boundaries. They made no effort to earn my trust or respect. Instead, they wanted me to dive head-first into the experience with no preparation, no concession to my comfort levels, no effort on their part to reassure me about my own safety. Because they were not willing to consider my needs, I rejected their offers. I would rather pine for something that seems unattainable than put myself in danger by taking the risk on someone who obviously doesn't care about me or they'd be willing to do those things without my having to insist.

3: what of the following are you willing to be trained for:
bondage, yes
discipline, yes
humiliation, No. I had enough of that from a fairly recent abusive relationship
verbal abuse, No, again... abusive ex boyfriend who loved to do this
water sports, No. I have no interest in anything involving bodily functions
spankings, Possibly. I've enjoyed the occasional hard slap, but never been spanked
nipple play (clamps) I'm willing to give it a chance, though my nipples are very sensitive...
rough sex, Yes.
voyeurism, Yes.
anal sex, Absolutely Not. This is my one dealbreaker, nothing anal.
blindfolds. Yes.
you may add to this list if necessary. There are a lot of things that I'm curious about as I learn about them, but few that I would specifically ask for. I am willing to at least consider anything except anal and those things involving bodily functions. Consider, as in I have the right of veto if I decide I don't like it. There are some things that I do specifically want to eventually try, but things that I will not offer or agree to until comfort levels have been reached (violence, rape play, etc)

4: what if any of the above is off limits. Anal, water sports, scat, bestiality. Especially Anal though. Nothing goes near my ass. No fingers, tongue, cock, toys, absolutely nothing. I've had a couple of ex's who essentially tried to rape my ass, unlubed, thinking that if they "surprised" me I'd get into it and forgive them. Not only do I not find it appealing in the slightest, but due to these traumatic incididents, they are an instant turn-off, mood-kill, deal breaker. If my partner tries to push the issue, I will end the involvement. If they cannot respect my feelings on this subject than they cannot be trusted.